. . .We tried to get her to come over this weekend so Brett and I could go on an early Valentines date. I was visiting with another lady and mentioned my struggles in getting "S". She had an obvious uncomfortable look on her face and froze. After I asked her if she was okay she just said, "Don't ever have 'S' babysit." I asked her why and she didn't want to tell me and be 'gossipy'. I was concerned that maybe she had been stealing things or something, so I insisted that she tell me why, because she had already been in our home babysitting. I was shocked and disgusted to find out that my friend used to use her all the time until they came home an hour early one night from their date. They discovered that "S" was using their bedroom for immoral extra-curricular activities with her boyfriend. In disgust she mentioned it to a neighbor of hers, who also used her to babysit, and they said they had strong suspicions but no real proof of the same thing happening in their home, and so they stopped calling her.
. . .I had a hard time sleeping that night. I kept running through the night that she babysat for us in my head. The comment I made to her when she got here was that she looked so cute and (teasingly) didn't have to get dressed up just to come babysit. The fact that when we got home she was clumsily flipping through a book and said that she had been reading the whole time (in a badly lit room) Everything just made me sick! I NEVER would have suspected anything. This sweet little Beehive may have allowed evil to come into our home, and I didn't know. It makes me so sad for this little girl and the woman she is becoming. My family is to important to me to ever have this happen again. I've learned a few things that I hope will help you too:
1. Never tell your babysitter when you'll be home. (Surprise is your best alliance - be vague: "We know we'll be home before 11, but we haven't decided what we'll do yet, so we may only be gone for a little bit"
2. Call while you're out to check in. Ask specific questions and be listening for any cue's that something may be up.
3. Get people to babysit that have been referred (that's still not a guarantee since "S" was referred to us, but it's a start)
4. Set clear rules for the babysitter. "No one else is allowed in this house. Please stay off the phone until the kids are in bed, etc.)
I will do anything to keep these boys safe and pure for as long as possible:
2. Call while you're out to check in. Ask specific questions and be listening for any cue's that something may be up.
3. Get people to babysit that have been referred (that's still not a guarantee since "S" was referred to us, but it's a start)
4. Set clear rules for the babysitter. "No one else is allowed in this house. Please stay off the phone until the kids are in bed, etc.)
I will do anything to keep these boys safe and pure for as long as possible:
11 comments:
Oh Steph, my heart is just racing! That makes me so sick! It's hard enough to trust someone with the safety and well-being of your children. To have to worry about what grievous evil that person may be welcoming into your home is too much! Perhaps we could also add in here that praying about a particular babysitting choice before the offer is extended might be a good option. Some might think it extreme, but in light of what 13 year old girls are capable of these days, I'll definitely be taking your advice and praying about my choices before I hire a teenage babysitter again! I'm so sorry!
p.s. Has your friend told "S"s parents about what they came home to?
that is so sad. something i would have never even thought of, so thank you for sharing it and giving some tips! i will definitely keep them in mind if/when we get a babysitter!
shocking!!!
Something else I thought of is asking the Young Women leaders of the ward for their recommendations for babysitters. Having served in Young Women, I know that often the leaders are privy to information about the girls that even parents don't know...
Sick And Wrong! Get a dog. . . If you have a really good male dog he shouldn't let strange males in the house when a girl is alone. Desert is the perfect example.
P.S. Do the girls parents have any idea what is happening????
Sadly "S" lives with other relatives who barely speak English and don't seem very involved with her. I am going to make sure that the Bishop knows as well as possibly her school counselor, so that she can get some help.
OMG! That is really scary and very disgusting to hear. This is why I only trust intermediate family to watch Jack. I had a babysitter watch him once and I had a bad feeling about it. I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
That is so scary. And it has increased my already present paranoia about babysitters, which is weird because I babysat all the time when I was a young teenager. But, I was a very good, very responsible sitter.
Are there still good babysitters out there?
I'm with you, I'll do almost anything to keep my boys safe.
Sadly, we had a very similar experience with the first babysitter we ever got for Caleb. We didn't figure it out until the 2nd time she came over. It made me want to cry to think that my baby was probably sitting in his crib the whole time we were gone. It also felt like a huge privacy violation that she was back in our bedroom...
I agree with all the things you said; we now follow those same guidelines with our new babysitter.
Oh my goodness. That is just...well...really disturbing. Everything about it. Thanks for the advice. As much as I hate the fact that I have no family around to watch Micah when we need it, there are still occasions we have to hire a babysitter. Luckily, I've found a very good and reliable young woman in our ward whom I trust, but obviously you can never be too carefull. Especially when it comes to your precious children.
Ugh. Never worried about that before. Thanks for the thought, some good things to think about.
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