Resolutions 2014

Devour Less  - Savor More

I've spent all week thinking over and over again about my resolutions for the year.  Most years resolutions aren't a big deal for me.  It's more of something I say because that's what you're supposed to do at a new year, rather than a true desire to move forward and make changes.  I feel like I'm at a turning point in my life and I am anxious and excited.  In the past 8 years since Brett and I got married we have moved 3 times, bought a home, given 4 boys life, had 7 different vehicles, and a numerous other moments that we cherish.  We feel like Emmett is our last baby and I cling to his sweet baby smell as much as I can, because he is our last.  As exhausting and physically demanding having four small children is I love it.  Sometimes they drive me absolutely crazy, and most days I feel like I'm out of my mind, but I LOVE IT!  I know some people will negatively judge me for this, but Emmett started to taper off nursing a few weeks ago and I let it happen.  My hormones calm down when I'm not nursing, so my baby blues are gone and I've been feeling amazing.  Emmett is now completely weaned off. I made it six months, which was my goal, and I am happy to be done. With all of these changes it dawned on me that I will never be pregnant again.  I am overwhelmingly grateful for my beautiful miracle pregnancies and births.  I love my children.  I love knowing that someday I can say something like, "one day I sat on the couch and grew your internal organs while I watched TV." or "I was shopping at Walmart when you kicked me in my ribs and I knew that you were a fighter." or "I craved corn dogs and oranges everyday except for the occasional steak when I was growing you."  I think someday I will miss holding a tiny new baby and having him hold my hand and depend on me for his survival.  I love and cherish my experiences, as hard as they were, and am so grateful for those memories.  With all that said, now I can say I am SO happy that I will not have to get up to go to the bathroom three times every night just to climb back in bed and uncomfortably toss and turn while I pretend to kind of sleep (or at least for another fifty years).  I am so happy that I will never have to worry about wetting my pants every time I sneeze - yep that happened a lot (I also realize this worry may come back in 50).  I am so happy that I don't have to be terrified of dying when they cut me open and pull out my organs (I don't like c-sections, but I'm glad all my boys came out safely).   I could go on, but I think you get the point.  A few years down the road, if Heavenly Father has another plan for us, than I will happily go down this path again, but for now I will be happy.  This is not just a new year for me, it's a new start.  It's the start of a great adventure.  There are a lot of things that have been hard to stay motivated about because in the back of my mind a little voice says, "Wait! Don't do that, (or don't plan that) you might be pregnant or nursing at that time."  It feels like every aspect of our marriage plans have revolved around how much I can handle when pregnant or nursing.  Now I feel like we can revolve all our focus and plans around our kids and not just my inabilities.  I see vacations, a dog, road trips, etc. in our horizon and I'm excited.  What does all of this have to do with my resolutions?  I've spent a lot of time devouring things (time, money, food, . . .)in present minded-ness but now I really want to stop and savor the things we have so that we can make more room for the future.  So, here it is:

Devour Less - Savor More :  The plan

    Major diet.  I no longer have the little red suited man in the back of my head telling me there's no use in trying to loose weight or get healthy because I'll just gain it all back, plus some extra, with the next baby.  I know I'm only a week into my new diet, but so far I'm conquering it.

    Budgeting.  Just because you have something doesn't mean you should use it.  We've always kept savings accounts and are pretty good with our finances, but we also know that we can do better.  Devouring less means more put away for more meaningful things.  That's where the savoring comes in.  Stop buying more and start buying smart.  That's our goal.  

   Time.  I like having projects.  I take that back.  I love having projects.  I also love having the house clean, cooking homemade meals, making baby food, crafting, and girls night outs.  I have tried many times in the past to do all of these things. . . all at once.  It doesn't work.  Stop it!  I need to stop devouring everything and stop being spastic.  Cool down.  I'm not giving up on any of these things, but this year I want to spend more time enjoying the moments I'm in before I move on to the next.  

I'm sure the years to come will bring us lots of memories and changes, and I know it will be hard.  But, as hard as it will be I know it will also be equally, or even more, awesome.  I'm so excited for the next stage in our life and moving forward. That's all.  Happy New Year!