Here's to the the Class of 2001

I can't believe it's been ten years.  I also can't believe it hasn't been longer.  So much happens from the age eighteen to twenty-eight that thinking back at myself is almost like remembering an old friend.  There was the me in High School: never feeling like I belonged, loud, crazy, attention-seeking, lonely, ambitious, unsure of so much yet very sure of so many unimportant things.  I never seemed to find my niche (or at least I felt that way).  I was Student Body Secretary, Drama Club Co-President, Natural Helper, and a member of many clubs including Superfriends, SADD, Honor Society, Key Club, . . . hmmm, I can't remember the rest.  I saw school as a social event more than an educational experience.  I always wanted to be involved in everything and I spent many afternoons and evenings working on stuff for Leadership or my other clubs.  I was a workaholic on anything I could get my hands into and even now I'm not quite sure how I managed to get good grades when school work always seemed to be my last priority.  It's kind of funny looking back and remembering different events that seemed like they would change the world, and now seem so small and insignificant.  I volunteered to chair the Homecoming Assembly my senior year.  I remember spending hours and hours writing out the scripts, finding costumes, performers, coordinating with staff and the student court how things would be run.  It was such a big event that I thought my mind would explode and that my stress level would never reach a higher point for a more important event.  Hahaha.  I don't even remember what the assembly was about or who was involved in it.  I remember locking my parents keys in the car, while the car was still running, twice the week of the assembly, because I was so stressed I couldn't think strait.  I remember realizing the week before the assembly that I hadn't been asked by anyone to go to the actual dance.  I cried.  Oh, the angst of being 18:).  One of my friends got her brother to ask me, so it ended up being just fine.  The world would not end, for at least that week.  Overall, I loved High School.  I saw it as a starting point of life.  Never again will one be surrounded by so many people with such diverse backgrounds/circumstances/expectations and get along as well as we did then.  People think cliques are bad in High School.  I would say that they are much more distinct and cultivated once your out, it's just that once your out there's more space between them.  There's a world for special interests and certain 'types' to come together as opposed to a building where everyone is forced to co-exist eight+ hours a day.  We ought to give High School students more credit.  If we, as adults, had to spend that much time 5 days a week with so many other random people I would guarantee total hysteria and revolt.

Back to the point- It's been ten years which means a reunion is in the works.  I will not be attending mine because I have much more important concerns at that time(Welcome to your new family, Baby Boy!).  Ten years ago I remember thinking about the ten year reunion and what a milestone it would be.  Where will people be?  What will they look like?  Who will be rich? Who will be psycho?  Who will wonder about me?  Now that ten years have passed the reunion doesn't seem as important to me and to be honest if it weren't for the reunion notifications I really wouldn't have thought much about the past at all.  Then, of course, my curiosity peaked.  It's amazing to live in a time where we so easily can find out a lot about a person just by being their 'friend' on Facebook.  I've found that some friends are still friends and have traveled a similar road as me.  Some have gone down paths that have introduced them into a world that I don't want anything to do with.  I am sad for those people.  Some friends have aged quickly and some apparently have a fear of aging at all.  There were some 'beautiful people' in HS that are still just as attractive and seem to  always be partying.  For some reason, ten years ago, I always thought they would turn out to be ugly.  Will they still be happy when they realize that their faces won't stay the same forever?  I've discovered that two boys I had big crushes on are actually gay. . . maybe that's why I never seemed to date in HS:).  Some people have traveled the world and some have not left at all.  People have found their cliques and they have hopefully found happiness in them.  I belong to the 'Mormon family' clique and I am happy.  I never imagined being this content with life when I was eighteen.  It's taken years to figure it out, but I'm learning that I am happy with myself just the way that I am.  I belong to my family and that is more important to belonging anywhere else.  As I approach thirty, I'm realizing that happiness really is only made by oneself (as cliche as that is).  I look the way I look and that's okay.  I dress the way I dress and that's okay too.  I may not be a millionaire but I have everything I want and more.  Only I can choose to be hurt, offended, upset, or embarrassed; no one else can force those feelings on me.  I know I have faults, but they are for me to deal with and overcome and no one can change that.   Aren't all of these things exactly what I wanted for myself ten years ago, even though I didn't realize it? In another ten years perhaps I will gain wisdom and experience that I, even now cannot comprehend. . .I hope so, anyway.  So, for all of those that graduated one world and entered another ten years ago I have just a few things to say:  find joy and keep it, never blame anyone but yourself for things that bring you down, looking back is great as long as it's just a quick glance,  move forward and always have hope.  So, for anyone out in the world who may be wondering what ever happened with that crazy girl, Stephanie Rushton? I'm good. I'm healthy. I'm happy.  I'm loved.  The end.  Here's to another lifetime of becoming who we really are meant to be.